Little wrinkles of my brain...

OMG! I got a four on the english AP! SURPRISE! i totally thought i would get a 2. I didn't take the class or prep that much for the exam... Both my roommate and i realized that preping for it the weekend before and adjusting to the format of the exam would be good... too bad the English composition is like the first exam of the APs this year... i was EXTREMELY lucky...

Got a 5 on the chem exam, but i think i sort of deserved that one. It must have been a really low five though still... i thought i would get a 4.

And on US history i got a 5. Well that was to be expected, but anyways...

I TOTALLY am so happy about my ENGLISH AND CHEM GRADES! - a year of chemistry now is totally worth it in my view, and as for english- i guess you don't really need to prep for it? i'm guessing i did really well on some mutiple choice cause my essays were not very well composed, to say it lightly. * that or my grader was just totally tired and didn't read my essays...*

but yeah totally happy! : )

I think the prospect of college applications is really stressing me out-even when i'm doing absolutly nothing for it.

I've also realized that TV is a waste of time-and that you shouldn't watch it, unless its a football match-especially the world cup-but otherwise its a general waste of time.

I want to read a really good book right now. I'm thinking of reading the virgin sucides-it sounds intersting-for my type of mood right now.

Do you ever feel like you're on the verge of doing something great? Like you're almost there yet your not sure whats keeping you back-maybe the fear of actually reaching the goal or the fear of reaching the goal but then having to step up other goals?

I need to buy a journal. Like a real life journal that you can write in.

I think the only reason humans are progressing is because of the arts, and maybe the sciences, but definately the arts. I don't know-i might just major in english or history or even dear god-drama. that would freak out my parents- but what else is there to do in this world?

I know i'm being all melodramatic and such. But i'm tired. I think two weeks in bed with books and endless tea would serve me good. : ) But that's not likely to be an option

I feel sort of antisocial right now.

I am just rambaling right now...

Well, Germany plays tomorrow against Italy.

Hopefully Germany will win- The Germans definately are selling themselves short constantly-now w/ this world cup they are finally breaking out!

Germany is winning against Ecuador! OMG! GERMANY!!! KLOSE IS AWESOME! I <3 him!!!!!!!!!!!


GERMANY! GERMANY! GERMANY!

Woot!

Gods, i've had a really shitty day. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. there has been entries when i've talked about the guys that i've liked and stuff, and today (we had a lock-in at our school) i see him sleeping with (laying sleeping) another girl. Then after he woke up, i think me coming in did the trick, he still hung to her and he looked a bit gulity. but that was it.

The image of the two together was just really bad for me to see. It wasn't if i wanted to see if, but i just sort of stumbled over it. Really shitty thing to stumble over. And its not like i don't want him to have a relationship or anything, but i didn't feel like we had a proper form of closeure or anything of that.

Like it really sucks to like people. It really sucks. to have the expectations from a person only to know that they will not live up to those expectations.

I don't know, i think looking at that just made me hurt so bad. I felt crushed, rejected, and worthless at the same time.

And even though i'm horribly angry at the person, i can't help liking them *or at least have a physical attraction*

Its been a really shitty day.

I'm so glad that i don't have to stay on the campus anymore.


what is wrong with me?

I wish i could just get over this and like another guy or at this point, like other girls. BUT IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN!

My brain sucks.

I don't even know if he even feels at all. It seems like everything is either routine or just another blimp in the road for him, does he even feel emotional pain or is he a stonewall?

why oh why do i have to like guys like him?

guess what's my background?


YALE


my favorite college.

Ok, do you know what i think? that life sucks for a junior. OMG, APs are so going to squash me down dead. And taking chem and physics at the same time is not such a bright idea for a person not into math and science. Actually, i think i'm not much into anything right now. Urgh. whatever.

On the other hand, i HAD a prom date and he cancelled on me. Can life get any better?

I shall attempt to tell all the pain that my school work causes me...

where shall i begin? Oh yes w/ science and math...

Chemistry: Its like this little parasite that is bitting all the time w/ its endless work and such... It slowly rots my insides to death and is a aching pain

Physics: This subject is like a person who kicks you continously in the gut, it hurts a first, but eventually you just get numb to the pain that it causes

Calculus: RUN! RUN! RUN! OMG, the calculus monster is after me! I fear this subject so much... i feel like its an atomic bomb ready to drop over my head any second

History: APUSH is just a whole lot of work, but i like it BDSM no? jk

Spanish: just annoyance, i'm not doing so bad in it

SO, in a school called science and math, my worst subjects are science and math... AP Chemistry is just so much work, as is AP US history, but i don't mind it as much...

Physics is a bit *understatment of the year* confusing b/c we're doing the whole elec-mag part of it now... but i just like playing w/ the batteries never mind Amps, Ohms, and volts

Calculus ha! Its not math! Its really funny that i'm a math tutor and i'm like failing calculus. I seriously am like C-ing calculus and in my school, thats about failing...

I know i like to complain, and this liverjournal is basically about me complaining about my school and about boys, and about life in general, but hey... i need to rant sometime no?

Because wouldn't it be creepy if i did turn out to be perfect?

If i did make good grades, play in a orchestra, be in charge of clubs, and then look pretty, and then still made eight hours of sleep everyday?

Gods, i hate those people, i'm lucky if every week i can do 3/5.

michelle

Noah and i hanged out today and it was so much fun. We just talked mostly, but it was really nice. So right now, i'd be psychoanalyzing everthing said in the conversation... but that's me lol.

It was really funny actually, we both were trying to follow each other b/c we were just walking around the school, and both of us wanted to follow the other one, so it was really quite humourous seeing which building we went into, b/c i was following him and he was following me...

Twis a good day

i worked out *i'm actually flexing my arm muscles (nonexistant) but you can't see them across the screen (also b/c their nonexistant)* but yeah, i ran for like 2.4 miles today. and then did abs and back w/ one of my friends on royal, we had a good time.

I'm going to see a sick friend and bring her the stuff that i brought for her to get better. She is so sweet to me, so i'm going to be really sweet back. I'm just having a really good day.

I'm also going to attempt to read my chem hw! : )

it seems like my livejournal is one rollercoaster ride up and down up and down. Right now i'm in one of those down periods....

well, i got rejected by a summer program that i applied to. Feel goddamn aweful right now. I don't mean to sound arrogrant, but what kind of people would they accept? I mean i thought i had a pretty good record. I really did think so. i thought my essays were really good too, hmmm

what am i missing?

It is strongly suggested that the guy i like likes me back. : ) i'm so happy!!! Squee!
michelle